On Track

I'm slipping off my much talked about, carefully crafted perch. It was created and held up at that scary time when things got bleak. Remember? That was at the beginning... the diagnosis. I was scared and trying to hide it with denial. It was crazy. But reality bonged me in the head so hard there was no denying anything. I didn't shrivel up and shrink away. No! I got fired up! Ready to fight... and go to battle! No big "shark" was gonna snap me up. I jolted myself back to a right mind set. Now I was ready to fight and kick butt. It was working, and going good, considering. That's when I thought... I got this under control. Yeah... okay... Uh-huh... I got cocky, careless, and started thinking... Look at me! I beat this thing! I'm fine now. And it can't happen to me again. So I blew it off, and reverted back to my old ways. Okay... No... it wasn't too cool or swift. And you know, I even started thinking... Hey... I'm smart... got passed this... and so a little cheating, dabbling, reverting back, getting comfortable... what's the problem? Couldn't hurt. ...started eating that bad stuff again. All that grub I swore off back when I didn't know if I could get though that nasty, horrible, scary trouble. And now I was eating it again. Oooh... You know... I got to feeling like... hey... I'm all right. Sure... I'm looking good. So what if I'm gettin' a little fleshy. It's not good to be so scary thin. And my hair was growing back. Huh... I was more myself than I had been for a long time. Got to thinking... hmmm... that wasn't me. Couldn't a been. Naw! Was just a crazy mixed-up time, a dream even. I musta just got pulled into some freaky dream. Maybe I didn't really have what they said after all. Cause now I felt good... great even. Okay. Yeah. I got the scars. I see 'em everyday... Still... I don't want to think I'm so different from everybody else who never had my challenges. And then I got to sluggin down gut bustin' caffeine, and sucking in sugar; laying around, and not movin' a whole lot. Besides, I'm feelin' and doin' jus fine now. Naw... Hey... Come on! Get real! I know what happened and what I gotta' do. Then the GONG! And then I got to thinking... I'm not the only one to go through this thing. So-o-0... I'd better put my story down, give the real deal. But not just for me. It's for all those others too, at the beginning of their journey and on through maintenance. And yes... I'm still learning, and fighting. And what I'm finding out is that it's never over. As long as you're here, you gotta keep fighting, and learning how to deal with this stuff. You get off course, but you gotta work your way back, maybe a whole bunch of times. The main thing is, when you backslide, don't give up. My Guide gives the whole picture. It's frank, sensible help that works when things gets hard and rough. You learn that you can stick it out, even after missteps. It might not be for you, but you can hand it off to somebody else. It goes from diagnosis, through the fight and the work it takes to beat the odds. You can rebound. Stay strong and on track. Release date soon. Sue